91ֱ��

Fear and rejection held me back.

Year one passed by without engaging in many extracurricular activities. I saw comfort as my safest option. How could I fail? Failure meant I had lost. Failure meant that I couldn’t try again. Failure meant that I had reached my limit, and couldn’t advance beyond the ‘glass ceiling’ holding me back. So, what changed?

Well, I would say that I took a step back, and began challenging these thoughts. Professionals call it ‘Socratic thinking’ – a way to objectively evaluate the evidence and reasoning behind one’s beliefs. You’d think that as a history student who comes across evidence everyday, I’d be an expert, but I was not. In my mind, I didn’t belong here. I stood out as a black student in a predominately white cohort. But why? I had received an offer to study here. I received an acceptance letter from 91ֱ��. I passed the entry requirements. So why did I think I didn’t belong here?

This method of thinking made me realise that I did belong here. I was determined to maximise my time, and gain experiences that I wouldn’t regret later in life – so I became proactive.

I spoke to (A&H Faculty Employability Lead), (HE Skills and Employability Consultant) and (A&H Employability and External Relationships Officer) about completing a placement year or year abroad, all of which helped me decide on the latter.

I secured a two-week internship with the Civil Service at the DfE through , where I researched, studied, and presented about the importance of HTQs, all under the insightful guidance and support of (Higher Technical Education Strategy Advisor).

I attended a roundtable discussion with (current Director of Student Influence, and former Parliamentary Clerk at the House of Commons) as the speaker and asked her a question about the “gap in the market”, regarding the lack of racial representation in spaces and how we can address this issue.

I connected with , founder and CEO of The Black Curriculum, who has inspired me to create my newsletter and piece of public history around important topics within history and the black community.

I networked with , Senior Service Designer at the Ministry of Justice, at a civil service event, where we had enlightening conversations about diversity within the public sector.

So what changed between year one and two?

I did something. I had questions, and went about finding answers. I intentionally connected with people who would pour into me and share their kindness, time, and knowledge.

But to do this, I had to make myself uncomfortable. I had to take a leap of faith, embracing the changes that would make me feel temporarily uncomfortable in favour of long-term success.